All rise for the arrival of the Queen!

Serene, the Queen of Bedok, extends her royal welcome to all her loyal subjects at this car park. All rise...

Organized Crime legalized in Singapore

Hey! Isn't that Mas Selemat in the lead?

All white people look similar

Ever get the feeling that Caucasians look similar?

Mr. Super Chong

Could this be a fengshui name?

From a poster for a ballroom dancing performance. This couple was the special guest performance. Must be a super-duper dancer... this Chong guy.

Three Character Classic

Well... not exactly the Three Character Classic but definitely three words at a time.

Overheard at the cashier of a clothing store:

Cashier: Want join member?
Customer: Member got what?
Cashier: Member got point.
Customer: Point do what?
Cashier: Point exchange things
Customer: I dun want
Cashier: Forty-one dollars please
Customer (digging into purse after giving cashier a $50 note): Give you coin...
Cashier: Ten your change

Customer walks off...

Gulp! I'm next.

Misheard or Misunderstood?

Overheard in the office...

"Ya! But once I do already, you cannot find my S-O!"

Hint: You have to read the above quote out loud.

Translation:

"Once I make the entry, you would not be able to find the same sales order (S-O)"

Miss Golden Shine... you light up my life

Win Oredi Lor!

Banner spotted at my neighbourhood beautician:

Slimming Queen
Beautify King

Eat me!

Overheard at the food court...
"I came to eat you yesterday but you were closed!"

Translation: "I was at your stall yesterday but you were not open for business."

High Tech Vernacular

Email message: please unzip and upload.
(obviously referring to a ZIP file but...)

Conversation:
Colleague: "Are you coming with us for lunch?"
Me: "Now? I can't! I'm burning!"
(obviously referring to the CD-R I'm writing in that CR-R drive)

Question:
Me: "Have you finished burning?"
(obviously referring to that CD-R colleague is writing in that CR-R drive)