8 steps to becoming an inspirational being

maybe you'll get your own talk show too!

I landed by accident (don't ask!) at the National Achievers' Congress (ha!) recently and had my second first hand experience with American Evangelism. Raise your hands! Who wants to make more money without working harder? Who wants to have a happier life? And in the words of Dr. Barbara De Angelis, "Who wants to have sex 365 days of the year?" Can't quite believe that people pay hundreds of dollars to listen to them. And that more people will shell out thousands of dollars to spend four days with Anthony Robbins just to bask in his aura and be inspired. Might as well call him Maharashi Tony Robbins and glorify him with a statue!

Anyway, those people standing up there as "trainers" are supposedly "living" examples of success and they were there to make themselves (and by the way, you) more successful by telling you how. Here're my 8 attributes for being a successful crap-talk con artiste:

(1) Rattle off statistics liberally to add credibility. For example, "Did you know that 80 per cent of the top US CEOs interviewed said that they hate eating vegetables but do so to maintain their aura?"

(2) Always mention "Paradigm Shift" no matter which aspect of life you are talking about. Read about the original thinking from the original philosopher here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Kuhn

(3) Indulge in superlatives... ad nauseum.

(4) Tug heartstrings with a sob story. Don't forget to mention your rags to riches to story.

(5) Compose rhythmic, mnemonic aphorisms and ask the audience to stand up and repeat them with you. For example, "I want to possess my own success!" Literal meaning is not important.

(6) Prey on basic human fears like loneliness, poverty, social alienation and subtly hint that the audience are losers with a glimmer of hope of being saved by you - the trainer.

(7) Get audience to sit quietly and stretch the time with 'creative visualization'. Everyone SHOULD feel better after that. If not, they are beyond redemption and should sign up for private class. ka-ching!

(8) Male speakers, strut loads of macho charisma to enlarge presence and exude confidence. Women speakers can show sensitive, caring side to play the Mother figure of authority.