I was doing a search online for an AXS station to pay my bills. When I clicked on 'View Location Image', I assumed I would find a map indicating the location of the AXS station. But it gets 'better':
Oh! It's next to the phone booth on the void deck, on the wall flanking the blue door, with red pipes running above it and...
If you want to be heard, speak in the same language.
Somebody exorcize Fergie's "London Bridge" from my head!
How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin’ down like…
Wonder how she gon to do da Christmissy song?
ORIGINAL LYRICS (We wish you a Merry Christmas):
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Good tidings we bring to you and your kin;
Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Run it through this neat hip-hop translator and you get:
We wizzay you a Merry Christmas;
We W-to-tha-izzish you a Merry Christmas;
We wizzay you a Merry Christmas n a Happy New Year.
Good weed-smokin' we bring ta you n yo kizzle
Good tid'n fo` Christmas n a Happy New Year.
Here are some suggestions for getting started:
National anthems, hymnals, mission statements, taglines, a patriotic pledge... now go!
I was shopping on Amazon.com for an interesting DVD as a Christmas present.
Following Amazon.com's recommendations led to unexpected stocking stuffers:
Deliberate Orgasm Duet: Expanding Female Orgasm plus The Technique of Peaking and Extended Orgasm
You gotta love the puns from these ecstatic reviews (and their pedagogical outlook):
Reviewer: Don-11 "Don-11" (California, United States): ...I am thrilled to see it now on DVD
...The instructors describe in details what they are doing and feeling throughout the demonstration, answering very good questions from the audience
... The woman is beautiful in it. Not only is her [...] beautiful (sic) but the lesson she and the man are trying to teach us is what makes this tape so marvelous. Her whole body radiates at each stroke of her clitoris. (ever heard of faking, Don?) Her anus is so beautiful as it contracts and her labia engorge more and more as he is DOing her. (this is too technical for me)
...I tried to do as the tape instructs and concentrate on her orgasm and feel it in my own body...Haven't we all wanted and tried to make our orgasms rise to this plateau and stay there floating on a billowy white cloud of pleasure for as long as we wanted without going over the edge? (ooo... waxing lyrical. so poetic!)
Reviewer: Robert L: ...Lying in bed, knowing what is going to happen with lots of digital stimulation, gets me erect, almost throbbing.
Reviewer: Rebecca (New York City): ...gives you the fundamentals of sensuality and is chock full of information of what this Deliberate Orgasm is all about and how to do it.
There are even frame grabs from the DVD:
Caption: a "climactic moment" for Melody X.
Caption: Hosts Crystal Lowe & Natasha Ray
Caption: Crystal Lowe introduces the Advanced position categoryClient to Copywriter: "When can I see the draft of the event report for the newsletter?"
Copywriter: "End of next Monday?"
Client: "No. I want it today. I need to show it to my boss to get his approval."
Copywriter: "Er... but the event's this Friday. So I can't interview guests for their comments and do a report of the event until the event happens right?"
Client: "I don't care. I want the draft by the end of today. This the way we always work. Other agencies have done this for us before. So why can't you?!"
Is the pachyderm still holding out...
Or does she need persuasion... to sign the model release?
I want total cooperation. Full rights only. You hear me?
